Good morning, Bookworms! Allow me to complete the Groucho Marx quote from the title… “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read!” Ba dum bum.

I’ve mentioned before that my grown-up job has office dogs. We’re a family owned company with a casual dress code, and the bosses bring in their dogs. In case you missed it, check out this little tidbit about Harley, AKA Pirate Dog. There’s a second dog in my office, a sprightly beagle (who gets less and less sprightly in his old age) named Dakota.

Dakota is hilarious, but he is a chow hound. He’s just about the begging-est dog you’ll ever meet. He also really likes to troll people’s garbage cans for food wrappers. He’s lucky he’s so cute, right?

He also celebrates “Mo-vember.” Beagles approve of prostate exams!

Today Dakota was somewhat less cute. I LOVE English muffins. I love the toasty nooks and crannies and the melty butter or laughing cow cheese… So delicious. So low in calories. So fiber-tastic. I keep them in my office all the time. I typically leave them on my desk, where Dakota is unable to reach. At some point this morning, he managed to get my brand new pack of English muffins. (My theory is that I left them a little too close to the edge, but I’m not ruling out the possibility of chair involvement. Or secret opposable thumbs…)

The remains…

I wasn’t sure at first which dog was to blame, and I planned on trying to read guilt in their doggy faces to figure it out. I didn’t need to try and discern guilt. 5 English muffins is a lot of food for a 35 pound dog. Dakota had a SERIOUS food baby going on. Majorly distended belly. He looked like I do after gorging on pizza. I couldn’t help myself. I had to do it. DOG SHAMING!

“I stole and devoured all Katie’s English muffins. I didn’t have the decency to toast them first. I’m an ANIMAL!”

I realize this post has nothing to do with books other than a Groucho Marx quote, but cut me some slack… I’m suffering malnutrition now. Beagle induced malnutrition. Dastardly dog!