Greetings, Bookworms!
You know when you’re in a bookstore, browsing, and you get sucked in by picking up a title in the bargain bin? How about when you have grand intentions of bettering yourself and pick up a pile o’ classics only to watch them collect dust on your shelves? We’ve all got the shelf of shame. And the ladies at the Broke and the Bookish? They want us to own up to it. Today’s Top Ten Tuesday: Stuff I Bought But Never Read.
1. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert. Sometimes (okay, a lot of times) I get self important and think that I will be able to appreciate even the most highbrow of classics. That’s when I buy things like Madame Bovary and then watch them moulder on my shelves for an eternity. I mean, I SHOULD like this. A doctor’s wife has adulterous affairs? I mean, hello Anna Karenina. How’s it going, Lady Chatterley? Why did I never get down with Madame Bovary? No idea.
2. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. This is always on smart people’s lists of favorite books. I’m highly susceptible to peer pressure whilst making decisions inside the Barnes and Noble… Amazon doesn’t judge me the way a hipster cashier would!
3. The Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy. I bought this because Tess of the d’Urbervilles was so fantastic. However… The lack of female main character and/or the really unappealing portrait of what I assume to be the “mayor” on the cover has kept me from actually bending the spine of this one.
4. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. I really do want to read this… It’s just so THICK. I’m not easily intimidated by big books, but this sucker is the size of Les Miserables, but lacks a magnificent soundtrack to play in my head… And no Gavroche.
The Classics… Of Shame.
5. The Secret History of the Pink Carnation by Lauren Willig. It’s historical fiction with a pretty cover. I couldn’t be expected to resist the purchase, and yet… Still unread.
6. Shakespeare’s Wife by Germaine Greer. It’s historical fiction about, uh, Shakespeare’s wife. You know. Anne Hathaway. The one that didn’t win an Oscar. I found it in a bargain bin. I really loved the movie Shakespeare in Love, so perhaps I just don’t want to hear the sad tale of the wife who was left behind when the dashing Joseph Fiennes fell for a not-yet-openly-pretentious Gwyneth Paltrow. Siiigh.
7. The Meaning of Night by Michael Cox. I bought this because it’s historical fiction. I’ve been putting off reading it because it’s about a Victorian era murderer. I’m not big on crime novels, even historical ones. I frequently question my bargain bin judgement.
You can see the bargain stickers!
8. Ladder of Years by Anne Tyler. I bought this with Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant because I thought they sounded smart and fabulous. I read Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant and didn’t love it, so I didn’t bother with the other one on the shelf.
9. A Taxonomy of Barnacles by Galt Niederhoffer. Yeah. I bought this solely for the AWESOME title. I didn’t even read the abstract. Maybe I should. Maybe I will. Who knows?
10. House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III. There was an Oprah sticker, and I am not immune to the influence of The Oprah. I don’t know why I haven’t read it. STOP JUDGING ME, OPRAH!
Haven’t read these. Scandalous.
Alright, Bookworms. You know you’ve got some of these bad boys on your shelves. I want to hear about them so I don’t feel so alone. Spill it!
The most shameful thing on my bookshelf has for years been “Lolita”. I finally read it a few weeks ago. It’s the oddest sensation, having all of the minute details of the story copy-pasted into the template I’d already created in my mind for it. I sort of felt like I was coming back to the novel after a long absence rather than picking it up for the first time.
Isn’t that odd? I find that things are often not the way I’d imagined them to be at all!
Stop what you’re doing – drop it! Turn off all forms of communication, make a coffee, snuggle down. Open `Madame Bovary` and prepare to be transported to another place in time.
Ah ah! No arguments – just do it.
But, but… The ZOMBIES are on TV!
I’ve tried reading various classics, and I have to admit there are a few I found insufferably boring. Some I was forced to read, and some I picked up out of curiosity. However, I suggest you read Heart of Darkness and then watch Apocalypse Now. Darkness is a fascinating story that delves into our deepest evil tendencies, but also has a 19th century adventure story plot. But heck, if you want to read about the struggle of good verses evil, just read Stephen Kings Dark Tower series.
King is a master of good vs. evil. Oh The Stand! Be still my heart!
Reblogged this on Oyia Brown.
My top 10 unread are as follows: Dr. Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clark, Arctic Dreams by Barry Lopez, March by Geraldine Brooks, The Pathfinder by James Finimore Cooper, Comeback by Dick Francis, Hanna’s Daughters by Marianne Fredriksson, Memiors of a Geisha by Arthur Goldern, Bridge of Birds by Barry Hughart, The Known World by Adward P. Jones, and New York by Edward Rutherfurd.
Memoirs of a Geisha is fabulous. Give it a read!
I’ve read another book by Anne Tyler ( I think it was Noah’s Compass) which was wonderful and could be compared to the generativity versus stagnation and integrity versus despair stages in Erikson’s stage theory of cognitive development. I’m studying to be a teacher and we just learned about this in my Ed. Psych class.
I have not read any of these novels but they all look so good!
The Hobbit. Well, that’s not entirely true. I started it and put it down at least three times. Last fall, I made myself sit down and focus on it, with the help of wine and pizza, and I HATED it. Not even envisioning Martin Freeman as Bilbo could save it for me. After about 50 pages, I gave up even trying to read the poetry and just skipped over it.
Sorry. Rant over. Holy crap, I hated that book.
LOL- I’m on a personal quest to get through LOTR… It’s… Not easy. I feel you!
I got stuck toward the end of The Two Towers. My husband thinks I’m a Philistine for not having completed the series.
Don’t bother with Heart of Darkness. What a bore! My top 2 are Ulysses and Bleak House.
Thanks!
‘Shirley’ by Charlotte Brontë, I just can’t read it. It supposedly about a strong female lead who’s dad names Shirley because he wanted a boy. This book is basically why Shirley is considered to be a name for girls when it used to be a boy’s name. But I wouldn’t know anything about that because it’s on my shelf of shame.
I was lucky when it came to ‘the count of monte cristo’, I was given a copy that had been torn in half (I thought it was just missing a few pages) Imagine my suprise when I had to hunt down the second half.
Oh, and I so loved Jane Eyre, it disappoints me to hear that one of her other novels doesn’t live up to the standard… Of course, how could it? Jane Eyre is a REALLY high standard!
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Tender is the Night.. didn’t pass the first 3 pages! Heretic me! From your list M. Bovary is really worth it
Haven’t even opened The Voyage Out and a biogaphy of Queen Elisabeth! Enjoyed your post!
I prefer to read my Queen Elizabeth biographies in, uh, historical fiction form. Scandals with Robert Dudley are MUCH more entertaining when they’re fictionalized
You know? After writing here, I decided to finally open The Voyage out, I’m loving it! I used to read a lot of fictionalized history some years ago, but then I’m left with the doubts as to how much is true or not..
Worked on Britten’s Gloriana a fair bit, have the picture of them both clear 
Awesome!
I don’t really have any books that I’ve bought but then never read. I read The Mayor of Casterbridge and absolutely loved it. I honestly couldn’t put it down. But then if I buy a book, I’ll always read it but taking a book out from the library is a whole other story. I once took out The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck and I got through a hundred pages of it but I didn’t read it on a regular basis and would end up just leaving it for days. So, I had to renew it a lot and then I reached my renewal limit so had no choice but to return it. But one day, I will take it out and read it again.
The Grapes of Wrath is on my list! I had a copy of it once and lost track of it, how terrible is that?!
I have my own similar pile.
For The Count of Monte Cristo, check out the soundtrack to Gankutsou, the Anime adaptation of the book. It’s got a mix of epic classical and remixed techno, and is very cool. It’s not a Broadway show, but it fits the book.
Thanks for the tip!
Ack! I loved, loved, loved “House of Sand and Fog.” The movie was pretty good, but the book was just phenomenal!
I also have tons of books I haven’t read. Including “The Road.” I finally gave up and donated it. It was soooooo boring!
I also only got through the first 50 years of “100 Years of Solitude.” I got tired of always having to look at the family tree to figure out who was who. They all had the same names! Gaa!
I totally agree on 100 Years of Solitude- I finished it, but the names were NUTS. I also adored The Road, but in that bleak “I fear society’s demise” sort of way. I’ll have to read Sand and Fog. I will, really!
Maybe I should’ve given the Road more of a chance. But meh. Got too much other stuff to read.
I’ve been curious to read Madame Bovary, do you have a post about the book? I’d love to know whether you enjoyed reading it or not and why?
I have not. I have, however, posted about Lady Chatterley’s Lover, which is about another well-to-do woman who finds herself a tasty man snack outside the bounds of marriage, if you’re interested in that sort of thing.
War and Peace, I’ve tried to read it when I was in grade 10 four years ago. I gave up because it didn’t make sense. And David Copperfield. I had to read Heart of Darkness in grade 12, it was awful. It was one of those books where I was glad I read it because it was a “classic” but begged everyone “Please don’t make me read it again!” Also felt this way with Sense and Sensibility.
LOL oh dear, I don’t think I could handle War and Peace. That’s a special kind of dedication I just do not possess!
I have tried on multiple, multiple occasions to get through Wuthering Heights, and throughout the years, figuring maybe I’d dig it now that I’m older…..nope. Can’t make it through to the end, so I gave up.
Awesome! We all have books that belong on this shelf!
I think it’s the universal bookworm problem
I know what you feel about these books and have a similar list of books that I bought but never read. Too ashamed to list them all here, I have promised myself to read some of them this year, lets see how it goes. I will surely prepare a list of pending one’s by the end of the year.
Happens to the best of us, my friend.
Looking forward to discovering my shelf of shame when I get home from my trip! Is there an opposite? A severely over read and falling apart shelf?
Hmmm. Perhaps we should call that the Shelf of FAME because if you’ve read them that much, they must be awesome!
Brilliant!! I’m looking forward to blogging both now!
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Get a Kindle! then you can artfully hide all the books you bought, because they sounded good/were a bargain – most of the classics are free (even better bargain). Concur with comment above: just read Madame Bovary and Heart of Darkness!! not sure about the others…..
I tried Ulysees…..tried the audio book too….. but the BBC Radio 4 adaptation was good!
Got it! Love my kindle!
I’m with you on Heart of Darkness. I was forced to read it for uni last year, but previously, it had sat untouched for years.
Glad to have company!
1. The Old Man and the Sea
2. A Tale of Two Cities
The Old Man and The Sea is at least short. You could pull that off the Shelf of Shame in no time
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1. Anna Karenina
2. Lolita
3. The Old Man and the Sea – though I’m getting comfortable with Hemingway’s style and working on it.
I’ve read them all, and have mixed feelings on every one. (I LIKE Anna Karenina, but I could seriously do without the diatribes on Russian politics…)
Maybe that’s what phases me. I know it’s a good story with quality writing, but it’s so hard to commit to. And it’s a hell of a commitment.
Loved your post! I find that my Kindle helps with the shelf-shame. I only buy what I want to read when I want to read it. Maybe your shelf shows-off your impeccable taste in literature, and should be a source of pride?
LOL, yes, let’s go with that explanation!
A Clockwork Orange, I tried to read it but couldn’t get past the strange dialect.
I have been meaning to read that as well, luckily I’ve not purchased it yet!
SO guilty… The demise of bookstores has been so sad for me but the silver lining is that I buy less books that sit on the shelf of shame. Great post.
Less browsing time means less unnecessary purchases I guess. Sad, but true
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Oh! The Shelf of shame. Mine includes, Robert Daley’s Prince of The City, Mein Kampf, Tolstoy’s War and Peace, Salman Rushdie’s Midnight Children, and other few not so classic titles. All of these constantly glare at me all the time, I can almost hear them saying “We were better off without you”!
Oh I hate it when they start taunting me!
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‘The Girls’ by Lori Lansens. Everyone was raving about it when it came out, so I bought it and never opened it. I think I was scared it was going to be a sad one!
I used this post as inspiration for my first: http://stopbookandlisten.wordpress.com/2013/04/03/my-own-shelf-of-shame/ and I’m glad to see it wasn’t just me with LOTR!
That’s great! I love being considered an “inspiration” LOL.
I bought Anna Karenina and got about 150 pages into it. To be fair, I bought it in a airport gift shop awaiting a connection on my honeymoon. I love it, but I can’t concentrate long enough to give it the attention it needs. I have also purchased several books of essays on Existentialism, Utopia by Thomas Moore, and The Prince by Machiavelli. None of which have been read. I got 30 pages into Utopia and dropped it forever. Never cracked The Prince or the essays on Existentialism.
Existentialism is a bit much for me- I don’t blame you in the slightest for setting that aside!
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch 22
But i did read LOTR when i was 13 and loved it
Russian novels are always a challenge!