Welcome to the confessional, Bookworms. I wanted to write about the “cheesiest” book I’d ever read, because I’m overly literal and wanted to capitalize on my use of the term “word nachos.” I’ve read more Harlequin romance novels than I care to admit. I’m going to go ahead and lump them all into the same pile ‘o cheese because really- who can differentiate?
I place the blame for this habit squarely on the shoulders of my college roommate and butter-churning-best-friend-from-a-past-life Chrissy. I distinctly remember Chrissy distracting me from studying for something or other by tossing me a cheap paperback with a picture of a redhead lounging in a bubble bath on the cover.
The covers alone are hysterical:
Over the years, Harlquins evolved to accommodate a wide range of interests- they truly have something for everyone. You like your romance rated PG? They’ve got your wholesome wait-until-the-wedding-night set. You have a thing for cowboys? Greek tycoons? Middle Eastern princes? Check, check, and check. You can count on Harlequin for two things. The first is you’re guaranteed a couple of steamy scenes (I’ve never read one that went full 50 Shades, but they vary in intensity.) Second, you can expect epic and relentless CHEESE. I’m talking full on word nacho liquid cheesy goodness. They’re so bad they’re good.
So, what can you expect as far as plot lines? Boy meets girl. Boy and girl are undeniably and impossibly attracted to each other. Boy and girl must overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles in order to be together forever. (I read one where this guy didn’t want to get into a relationship because his doctor had told him he might have an unnamed incurable blood disorder. This was his reasoning for holding his soul mate at arm’s length. I didn’t say the scenarios were realistic.) The boy and/or girl each keep the truth of their baggage a secret and inadvertently break each other’s hearts… and their own. Of course, they eventually figure things out. And they ALWAYS live happily ever after.
Harlequin romance novels and their ilk are literary junk food. Small doses are just fine, but reading romance novels exclusively will probably rot your brain. But you work hard! Give yourself a break from reality and indulge. You might even pick up a creative new vocabulary word! Bookworm tip- there are a number of trashy Harlequin romance novels available on the Kindle for FREE.
Anybody out there care to admit their guilty literary pleasures? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?